Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I've Blown a Circuit

It has been so long since I have blogged and so much has happened in my life to which not much is remotely the same as it used to be except for these interminably long college classes.

First of all I am living with my father, in Arkansas, since I came here to take care of my mother.  She passed on in September and I AM STILL HERE. Also, I am engulfed in my immediate family, not 4000 miles away laughing at all the drama.  I am here in the middle of it all.

This post is about family and the things you may find out when living in close proximity.

My sister's kids LOVE parmigiana cheese, Lays potato chips and Krispy Creme doughnuts. If they didn't then this would be another story altogether. You see, as a health food nut, my sister has relabeled some of her own grunge food creations as commonplace food items that most normal people eat everyday.  Take parmigiana cheese.  She has created something to cleanse your insides and fortify your liver with foods such as this ground mixture of organic seed, lecithin flakes, a dehydrated fruit powder, and a soaked enzyme activated nut all precisely combined with some Israeli sea salt that *RESEMBLES* parmigiana cheese.

I have learned why my 8 yr old neice (I will call foodie3) eats an entire jar parmigiana at one sitting!  Last summer, at her friends house, after tasting spaghetti with store bought parmigiana she became an addict.  It's true, indeed.    SHE was so freaked out and amazed at her friends' mom's cooking (store bought commercially created junk food), that she consumes large amounts at one sitting.

The next food was potato chips.   My sister bakes potatoes at a low temperature not to mess too much with the enzymeage and then scoops out the interior.  What is left over is is a potato skin to which she dehydrates and adds a dab of olive oil and spice.  These are given out as "potato chips" to munch on throughout the day......the kiddos have always loved them until,  Papa (their Grandfather) introduced them to LAYS (and not to mention Krispy Creme Doughnuts).  No longer do they crave the gummy chewy, lifeless dehydrated potato skins.  The question I have is, will they love her later for keeping their blood sugars healthy, creating longevity and their minds flourishing with a lack of chemically treated foodstuffs or will they despise her for the tricks of motherhood played upon them?  Who is to say?  It is all very funny....UNTIL

Until I heard about the TREE. Here's the deal.  Most all of the family is taking grandpa's RV with a tonage of grandkids to HER house for the whole Christmas break.  We have been making plans about travel, food, games, stockings......you can just imagine all the prep to transporting 10+ to an alternate location for a 2 week holiday vacation. I called last night.  I asked her what kind of tree they had, real or fake.

This is how part of the conversation went (I left out the screaming part and ranting and 2 hours of phone calls to my other siblings):

me: I'm so excited that we drew names.....
her: yah, this will be fun even though we kept papa's name out
me: where are you putting the tree and is it real? (I know she lives 1 mile from a doug fir farm)
her: tree?
me: yah, Christmas TREE?  For Santa to put presents under??
her: I don't have that....
me: WHAT???
her: I have loads of banana trees and they are bearing bananas now, that would be fun
her: I have never had a tree......haven't thought about it
me: I CANNOT COME TO YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT A TREE, ALL MY KIDS BELIEVE IN SANTA AND THIS WOULD RUIN IT!!! (more ranting and yelling and eventually I had to hang up and rethink the whole vacation)

Now it started all coming clear in my head....no wonder they don't ever wrap or open up their presents until sometime in January or possibly February, they are not on out commercially created holiday calendar system!!!! Of course, my kids go to public school and my sisters kids are homeschoolers!! Why didn't I see this coming!! I mean I used to be a homeschooling mom too, but never, NEVER have I ever denied the children of their TREE!

Of course now all my plans are really changing....we get to shop for a tree, ornaments, and everything to make my sister's house in the south super, uber commercially and sentimentally holly jolly Christmas like!

After all the ranting last night I decided I should just blog about this.
Since I am officially back in the blogosphere
Merry Christmas ALL!