Sunday, January 22, 2017

Have you ever laughed so hard that milk shot from your nose? This story is kinda like that, but not really

I finally remember why.  Why I have never, not in 30 years ever purchased a bottle of JOY dish soap. 

Essence of lemon wafting from this lilly-livered amber goo involuntarily take my mind back to Cara Insall's kitchen in Ras Tanura, one unsupervised day afterschool. 

Another rendition of our game "Dare" was about to commence. The first freckly-faced, blonde person I ever knew, Tracie Wulf, the Master Concocter that day, cooked up a dish of sugar and spice with everything nice, yet with all the wiles of Laura Ingalls when she returned Nellie Olson's tricks. 

The object of the game:  EAT THE MYSTERY CONCOCTION 

"Try it" blondy said. Our eyes squinting at each other....

Earlier........ I recall preparing hot, spicy vomitous mixture with a cayenne base with stomach wrenching abilities. Horribly acidic slurry that would make your weight-lifting, muscle obsessed father hurl at just a whiff. This I had made as an offering.  

On the counter, a shot glass of chocolatey darkness waited for ME. Could it strip the wax off my momma's floor or make my little brother run squealing for his life? I would delay the gulp as Tracie grinned wide showing some gaps in her baby teeth, while Cara awaited.
"I am invincible" I lied to myself.

"Just do it," someone said.

I sipped, Mmm, Mmm.....CHOCOLATE! Wonderful!....SWEET!....Could it be no torture at all?? Unbelievable! I gulped the entire contents.  After the last swallow I inhaled it, a lemony , sudsy choke, then a cough, argh! Repeatedly coughing and gasping for air I began to think I would die soon of this awful choking lemony zest. 


It was dish soap! As I ran for the kitchen sink Tracie helped me spray water down my throat as bubbles continued to erupt from my face. I won't forget concentrating on the sink drain, croaking up lemon bubbles everywhere. Lemony bubbles.

My mouth experienced delight and devastation all at once as I nearly suffocated with chocolate lemon bubbles foaming from my nose and mouth. 

I despise Ultra Concentrated JOY, I wanna puke when I smell it. 
but it still takes me back to good 'Ol Ras Tanura days. 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Look Ma I made it!!

Nursing Blog Day 4:

I cannot believe that on the 4th day of class we have already read over 12 chapters in at least 7 books  many books and today learned about dosage calculations and injections.  So soon! I ended up really enjoying the math and especially syringe calibrations.  The hands on aspirating the syringe and drawing saline from a vial was the high of my day.  I know it won't be that way for long, but I am just enjoying all my firsts.

Everyone in the class received their lab backpacks stuffed full of fun stuff like PPE, tubes, and catheters. YAY!

On the way home as I passed mom and dads house I thought how happy mom would be that I am in nursing.  How she would just devour all my nursing books and fight me over who got to read which book first. I know she'd be the first person to call me and ask what I did at school today. Then it hit me, all over again, why I started nursing school in the first place.

It was all for you mom, I wanted to save you, but look ma, I made it!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Nursing Blog Day 3

The major excitement was getting coffee while waiting in line with
the whole class to get new I.D.'s This is time to socialize and find my buddy
that will be my skills partner and clinical partner for the rest of the semester.

Getting up early, taking kids to school, attending school myself all day and then
putting in a few hours at work is taking its toll on me.  I didn't get home til 8pm.
Dinner and THEN I can begin the tons of homework reading.

I'm averaging using ten textbooks a night. yuck!

I watched my first medcom video, I only fell asleep 8 times! Not that is was boring,
I'm just so exhausted. If it weren't for the excitement of actually being accepted into the
program and attending, I'm not sure if I could keep up this pace.

peace out

Don't forget your name badge!

Nursing Blog: Day 2 First Semester

Because of HIPAA and Ethical practices there doesn't seem that there is much to
blog about specifically....But I CAN say that if you are not wearing your name badge....
you may go home and find it, NOW please!  So note to myself, find a way to never EVER
leave my name badge behind, EVER!

High standards, strict rules, I can handle it.


The color of the uniform (basic Landau scrubs in hunter green) is my color season or my
personality type #3 according to dressing your truth makeover tips.

Family atmosphere, already created on the first day by swapping
phone numbers and social media sites etc. It's apparent that we will need each other.
In a typical semester I usually gain one good friend each semester of school. I have gained
40 good friends in just ONE day and getting to know at least 5 people much better each day.

First two days are done, off to work, daycare, dinner, enforcing that the kids take care of the pets, put all to bed to begin HOMEWORK!

Still overwhelmed!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

BE TERRIFIED! I am very scared......

So much has happened since I last blogged.  I don't even know where to begin so I will not even try to catch up.  I MADE it FINALLY into nursing school!  I am terrified and so excited! At first I thought I would keep a diary, then I thought no, I am going to do like Captain John Luke Picard and do a Captain's Log, Star Date etc....

So here it goes.....

(This could be good or this could be bad in the end)

Nursing Log, Day 1:

I made it through the book buying process severely maimed with the incompetent person that helped me to check out.  I only ran up and down the stairs to the student center 4 times, and all for poor reasons.  Finally, after $1495.36 dollars later in uniforms, books and patches, I checked out with the manager and lost my keys!!!!  After freaking out (on the inside), guess where they were?  Behind the counter right where I was standing for hours buying books!!

Hmmm, customer about to freak out over lost keys, out of sight in fact, clerk can see keys behind her station and doesn't think they COULD POSSIBLY BE MINE!!!!! ARGH!!! (Thinking the lady doesn't have kids or this was her first day on the job). My ranting is over, really I'm over it and feel a little guilty.

My latest picture of my 31 textbooks.

Anyhow, I made it to the first day of class and found parking along with 40 other fine classmates.  A major accomplishment in my TEXTbook.  I feel..... OVER-FLIPPIN-WHELMED!  The highlight of the day, another box of ATI books.

I have really gotta change this whole North Pole look on my page.....soon!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I've Blown a Circuit

It has been so long since I have blogged and so much has happened in my life to which not much is remotely the same as it used to be except for these interminably long college classes.

First of all I am living with my father, in Arkansas, since I came here to take care of my mother.  She passed on in September and I AM STILL HERE. Also, I am engulfed in my immediate family, not 4000 miles away laughing at all the drama.  I am here in the middle of it all.

This post is about family and the things you may find out when living in close proximity.

My sister's kids LOVE parmigiana cheese, Lays potato chips and Krispy Creme doughnuts. If they didn't then this would be another story altogether. You see, as a health food nut, my sister has relabeled some of her own grunge food creations as commonplace food items that most normal people eat everyday.  Take parmigiana cheese.  She has created something to cleanse your insides and fortify your liver with foods such as this ground mixture of organic seed, lecithin flakes, a dehydrated fruit powder, and a soaked enzyme activated nut all precisely combined with some Israeli sea salt that *RESEMBLES* parmigiana cheese.

I have learned why my 8 yr old neice (I will call foodie3) eats an entire jar parmigiana at one sitting!  Last summer, at her friends house, after tasting spaghetti with store bought parmigiana she became an addict.  It's true, indeed.    SHE was so freaked out and amazed at her friends' mom's cooking (store bought commercially created junk food), that she consumes large amounts at one sitting.

The next food was potato chips.   My sister bakes potatoes at a low temperature not to mess too much with the enzymeage and then scoops out the interior.  What is left over is is a potato skin to which she dehydrates and adds a dab of olive oil and spice.  These are given out as "potato chips" to munch on throughout the day......the kiddos have always loved them until,  Papa (their Grandfather) introduced them to LAYS (and not to mention Krispy Creme Doughnuts).  No longer do they crave the gummy chewy, lifeless dehydrated potato skins.  The question I have is, will they love her later for keeping their blood sugars healthy, creating longevity and their minds flourishing with a lack of chemically treated foodstuffs or will they despise her for the tricks of motherhood played upon them?  Who is to say?  It is all very funny....UNTIL

Until I heard about the TREE. Here's the deal.  Most all of the family is taking grandpa's RV with a tonage of grandkids to HER house for the whole Christmas break.  We have been making plans about travel, food, games, can just imagine all the prep to transporting 10+ to an alternate location for a 2 week holiday vacation. I called last night.  I asked her what kind of tree they had, real or fake.

This is how part of the conversation went (I left out the screaming part and ranting and 2 hours of phone calls to my other siblings):

me: I'm so excited that we drew names.....
her: yah, this will be fun even though we kept papa's name out
me: where are you putting the tree and is it real? (I know she lives 1 mile from a doug fir farm)
her: tree?
me: yah, Christmas TREE?  For Santa to put presents under??
her: I don't have that....
me: WHAT???
her: I have loads of banana trees and they are bearing bananas now, that would be fun
her: I have never had a tree......haven't thought about it
me: I CANNOT COME TO YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT A TREE, ALL MY KIDS BELIEVE IN SANTA AND THIS WOULD RUIN IT!!! (more ranting and yelling and eventually I had to hang up and rethink the whole vacation)

Now it started all coming clear in my wonder they don't ever wrap or open up their presents until sometime in January or possibly February, they are not on out commercially created holiday calendar system!!!! Of course, my kids go to public school and my sisters kids are homeschoolers!! Why didn't I see this coming!! I mean I used to be a homeschooling mom too, but never, NEVER have I ever denied the children of their TREE!

Of course now all my plans are really changing....we get to shop for a tree, ornaments, and everything to make my sister's house in the south super, uber commercially and sentimentally holly jolly Christmas like!

After all the ranting last night I decided I should just blog about this.
Since I am officially back in the blogosphere
Merry Christmas ALL!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

That's Entertainment

I made it to the lower 48! (After leaving behind 4 bags from my rooftop carrier, unloading half the contents of my personal suitcase and taking out half the groceries in the ice little Volvo was sitting ON THE TIRES ... .RELOAD!!)  Back in the States is like being on another planet especially after driving through St. Louis in rush hour! It is difficult to describe my near 5000 miles of driving, anyway,  I am going to prioritize some stuff in my life now since I am NOT in school, NOT working for the summer, and ONLY taking care of the underage children in my life. I found a post from my Spring pre-finals, and thought I would post before I really get back into the blogosphere.

Written earlier:
Life has been mostly mother reports or weather reports. Life is so busy, or is it? Are there people out there NOT running themselves ragged with kids, activities, scouts, medical issues, vehicle upkeep, your job, his job, the older kid jobs, school, homework that never EVER gets finished, animals, and did I mention potty training?

Flicks that entertain my brain:

The Emerald Forest
First of all it took me three sittings to watch it all. Without the fast forward button, I just couldn't have endured it. Every parents nightmare is losing your kid, maybe in the ex-burbs, at a nascar race, or like me, even in my own house.  This movie is about an engineer who loses his young son to the jungle while on a family picnic in South America.  The only clue he has  is a yellow and black feather that comes from an "invisible" people.

It seems like the entire inspiration for the cartoon "Fern Gully" or James Cameron's epic "Avatar." Civilization (and technology that we are so addicted to), is the ultimate evil in this movie, and encroaches upon the life giving green forest. I am Girl Scout Green, therefore, I am easily mesmerized by the lack of technology, no cell phones, and the primitive instincts of the clan tribes that dwell deep in the forest not to mention the ease and lack or need of modern clothing. I kinda want to lie naked now with my mate only clothed in leaves and flowers in a tropical climate possibly the same wardrobe as Eve before "The Fall of Mankind", you know when we were ALL vegetarians.

A great edge of your seat movie, at least for me.
Raising Hope
My absolute high-light of the week that brings laughs to the entire family, which can be also be embarrassing at times.
Speed Racer
You might need to dull your screen color settings for this one.

Movies I want to see:
Black Swan (I love Natalie Portman and ballet)
The Kings Speech
Tron (for the kid in me)
Despicable Me (same reason)
The Social Network
The Blind Side
Gulliver's Travels