Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Poop Wars

I have the smartest kid in the world...maybe.  When he was two and a half years old, we purchased tons of training pants for him and taught him how to wee wee in the potty.  All summer long he performed for anyone, as long as he was asked, walked to the bathroom, and as long as he was helped to pull up and down his drawers.  So what is the deal with doing number 2?   His third birthday has come and gone.  We have discussed matters, read books about these matters, and he has even sat in on many expert runs with mom, pop, sis, and big brother.  It hasn't worked.  We have now resorted to buying pull ups with Toy Story characters on them because he likes them. They are always dry...however, sometimes very stinky, and full of well you know, POOP!

How is it a little person can have all the ability to urinate on demand but not defacate?  Why do they hide the fact that they have done it, why do they want to sit in it?  What did I do to my mom to deserve this?

Today, I caught him in the act.  You know the look.  He is quiet...which never happens, he is still...which NEVER happens, and he was in a precariously relaxed squatting position!  So I scoop him up and set him on the pot. After 5 minutes with no poop I relent after much wining to let him leave the bathroom only with no Toy Story pants on his bottom and he has to keep coming back to the potty to continue trying every 5 minutes. Well this commenced into POOP WARS!  He decided to make my life hellahellish for the evening by squealing, whining, tugging, hiding, and refusing to stay seated on the potty. He really wanted his pull-up back on so he could finish his business, the boy was probably getting constipated at this point.  After an hour I resorted to bribery, YES! BRIBERY!!!  I told him he could have a cookie if he would go poopie.  It didn't work.  He snuck the cookie behind my back while I was doing dishes and cleaning up more messes that people make for me from our New Years Celebrations, and when I say people I mean the other children and husband that live here.

After suffering all night through a bare bottomed, terrified to go poop, three year old, and listening to his tears, screaming, and fits, his dad resorted to playing the guitar to him... in the bathroom - YES in the bathroom with a guitar -  while they both sat, and waited........ for poop. I kinda think this is hilarious.  I have potty trained 4 children successfully, you would THINK I would have it all figured out by now.

If you stop by and hear Johnny Cash or Willie songs coming from the bathroom, then just know it is our new potty program to stop the potty wars.  Who knows if this delivery system will work.  For now at least it is a bit more peaceful.  So far no poop.  We will keep trying.


  1. Sounds frustrating! Samuel, my oldest had to go without underpants (commando style) under his pants. No underpants, he wouldn't poop his pants. Underpants on, he would. A week with no underwear and he had it. It's just a suggestion but maybe it's worth a try :)

  2. My oldest is also named Samuel! How interesting!! We try stuff like that in the summer. My little booger is just not ready. I am gonna give that a try here soon though.