Friday, February 11, 2011

divas and volvos

How do you live with a 20 year old DIVA that has returned home?  Expecially when you don't exactly relate to everything GAGA?  You understand all the words but no matter what, communication just doesn't happen.... well especially not in the mornings.  Why can't life just be nice and pleasant?

It's just like last Monday...when I tried to change the headlight bulb in my Volvo. Let me give you a glimpse of my is not the standard square topped Volvo.  It is the absolute smallest Volvo EVER created in the history of Volvos (the mileage is great and should be since I am paying $4.09 a gallon!).  This is my first car too, I have always driven big trucks,vans, buses and now semi trucks most of my life.  This picture is exactly what mine looks like only try to imagine ice stuck to parts of it and snow.  Also we had to remove the little headlight wipers because they just get frozen causing snow to stick to the headlights until it is compacted letting little light through.  A great idea but doesn't really work.   

First of all it was a decent pretty warm day for here. Negative 18, or -18, of how about 18 degrees below zero!  That being said, January has cold spells that go all the way to about 65 below generally (I bet everyone here wears different and better underwear than most other places). Being so, balmy I decide NOT to wear hand protection while navigating the tiny compartment. I don't want a traffic ticket (really the hassle and the scar on my perfect record) and I hate to waste time so I am determined to change this headlight.

I also have to schedule this act around the high school late bell, an elementary school bus stop, preschool drop off and my daughter the DIVA'S new job. Everyone must be on time, that is my first job of every day. My son's truck is froze.  I have to get up EXTRA early to drive him to school.  Therefore on the way home I get 2 bulbs for about $30 bucks because you know...if one goes out, the other one will also go out within a week or so, or I could possibly break a bulb which is very likely.  Having a spare it ALWAYS handy.  I get home JUST in time to get the other 3 kids ready, then back outside to the car to fix the headlight before departure times.

 It is 8am, at the crack of murkiness ( the sun never really rises here it just gets less dark until about noon and then continues to get dimmer until dark about 4pm). I unlatch the bonnet.  In American terms that is the hood and another story all together how I found out about the bonnet. I find the headlight, pull off the silicone capping, release in the wire clamps all with only 3 inches or less room to move my now freezing fingers while my head is upside down, and my glasses slipping off my nose.  How does this relate to a Diva?  Well everything has very different labels than what you are used to, like coming from another country, everything is so tight, little room to move- stressful!  I finally pull out the old bulb, I get the new one in, rotated just so and vwalah!  The wire clamps snap into place all in about 4 minutes. However the light does not come on.....

Using the switch on the panel I try to switch on then off. Nothing. I look again and realize I HAVE CHANGED THE WRONG BULB!  The one I changed was for the bright lamps.  CRIMONY!, the regular bulb is a tighter squeeze next to the battery with even less space, a good 1.5 inches.  Okay I didn't really measure but that is a good estimate. My fingers at this point are past cold now, with a little feeling lost, they are experiencing some shooting pains now. 

Frustrated, I retrieve the extra bulb that I bought, then change my mind, and just reuse the one I just pulled out of the BRIGHTS.  SO I get the silicon cover off.  I try for the life of me to get the wire clamps go. Try again.   ARGH!  This gets really frusrating and I begin to think how I can blame this all on my husband.  I get angry, this is stressful, no room to move. I decide this is something worth putting off and I will just have to get a ticket, so I slap the cover on with a stamp of my foot while trying not to curse when exactly at that same time the light blinks ON! 

Well mornings are just like that around here with a DIVA, without going into too much detail (b.c I will only make her mad again at me).... I try and try and try and then finally I give up and attitudes change and things go nicely in the end. 

 I thought this was a cool version of my tiny Vovlo!


  1. Your last paragraph was very true. Not happy. Dislike.

  2. The other headlight went out this morning. argh!